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Snowstorm Disarmed Texas, Trevor Noah Says

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Most late-night hosts took the week of Presidents’ Day off, but Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel were on Tuesday night with a rare weather report.

“Because right now, everywhere in the country, if you look outside your window, you’re seeing snow,” Noah said. “I mean, except for Florida. If you’re looking outside your window, that white stuff you’re seeing? That’s probably cocaine.”

“This morning was the coldest in decades in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Little Rock. In New Orleans, they had the coldest Fat Tuesday in more than a hundred years. People on the streets were putting their tops on.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“It’s ‘Girls Gone Home’ in New Orleans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“And I think this is the right move. I mean, the sooner the people of New Orleans can stop the spread of Covid, the sooner they can get back to spreading gonorrhea.” — TREVOR NOAH

“And, yeah, it’s sad. But it’s just not safe to hold a Mardi Gras parade. I mean, during a pandemic, a tuba just turns into a Covid fire hose.” — TREVOR NOAH

“I thought we were supposed to have fun in ’21. But I guess that hasn’t started yet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

A “Daily Show” correspondent, Ronny Chieng, detailed the recent horrific rise in hate crimes against Asian-Americans.

Patton Oswalt will pop by Wednesday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”

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